Lemon-Kale Hummus Open-Faced Sandwich

Good Evening WordPress,

Ever have one of those moments where you just feel like you can’t find who you ARE?  Like, all the things you used to do and love to do don’t exsist any longer.  Of course, I have been on a bit of a journey and that journey has shown me that I can find peace and love in new “things.”  But where did she go?  I have never been in a postion to feel completely at ease with who I was/am.  It’s all been a work in progress, but some things that I had discovered about myself have been left behind and put aside due to a few changes in marriage, home and family.

A few things about myself I know I loved and have left my the wayside:

Yoga.  Man, oh, man, did I love my yoga practice.  It was really the one thing in my past life that I wish I could still find the means to do.  And to a huge degree it is completely my fault that I don’t practice anylonger.  I had a great studio in California that I loved to bits, and while we did look for a new one here, I certainly didn’t look hard enough.  Plus, what really was I looking for?  It seems to me that at the time I was looking for excuses to NOT practice.

Friends.  SIGH……..  I had a few good friends and few not so good ones.  I have never been good at making friends.  I am definitely shy and insecure in person.  I do fine in big groups but one on one and I clam up.  Plus I tend to be such an open book, it can be scary for someone like me to make good friends.  I miss the ones I had.  I definitely don’t miss the “not so good ones,”  but sometimes any friend is a good friend depending on the situation.

Photography.  Gosh I can’t believe I let this one go.  What was I thinking.  I may have had/have a real talent.  Now it seems like all my pretty little camera can do is photograph some plates of food.  Totally not worth the price of the camera, I can tell you that.  Weddings were unbelievably fulfilling.  I felt completely absorbed into the role of the wedding photog.  Or just simply engagement pictures.  I thought there wasn’t anything better than seeing love come throught the camera and into my viewfinder.

Feeling like a woman.  This one is hard to explain.  I loved putting on makeup and putting on a dress.  Adding a flower to my hair completed my feminine search.  Part of that was having somewhere to go, something to do, reason to put makeup on and do my hair.  Not to mention the sun to warm my skin and brighten my eyes.

So, that leads me to the place where I can’t just sit and complain.  I am to aware of what I want and enjoy to just expect all those things to just HAPPEN without real effort.  I haven’t got it all figured out yet but I have some real steps in mind to start doing and making things happen for myself.

First, I will make the most of my day.  I tend to wake up at noon and then feel like I wasted my day away.  So I have a new goal to get myself out of bed by 9:00am.  It’s not with the sun like some people, but I am keeping my goals realistic.  I got myself a few tricks to help me in this area.  One of which is a new alarm clock tone.  I purchased the sound of mourning dove birds to hopefully make me wake with a smile on my face.  Those birds used to be part of my daily routine when I was a younger child.  I would hear them outside my bedroom window in the avocado tree we had in the back yard.  The second thing to try is an app called “MySpiritTools.”  It’s got some guided mediations and an alarm to ease you into waking up with some morning breathing exercises and such.  Can’t wait to give that baby a try in the morning.

Secondly, I will start the beneficial practice of Meditation.  I tried in the years passed and had a really hard time shutting my mind down.  Things are better now.  I have almost no worries and concerns in my new marriage so I am expecting to be able to really reep the benefits from the meditating.

Similarly, I will start pracicing yoga at home.  There are plenty of apps and online sites to give me all the yoga I want.  I have no excuses.  I have a room I an dedicate to my yoga, meditating room and plan to do so immediately.

I still have friends.  The same GOOD FRIENDS I used to call upon on California I can still call upon today from Washington.  I can definitely do better at being a good friend and since we spend so much time in california as it is I don’t so much have an excuse to not stay in closer contact with them now.  I’ve definitely got to work on this touch.  Reaching out has always been so hard for me.  It’s time that I do so though.  I can’t continue to feel so alone.

Photography.  SIGH…… I just don’t know.  I’m still working on this one.  I have a couple shoots in the books in the next few weeks but we will have to see if that is enough to spark the fire I used to have.

One last thing I forgot to add up above was my determination to become a Court Reporter.  I don’t have that same drive I once did.  At the time it just was my means to get out of my awful marriage.  But since my Knight in Shining Armour has already rescued my, I don’t feel the same desire.  I do however have the strong urge to take up “Massage Therapy.”  So I am still looking into it and discussing with the husband.  It’s costly to get into and will cause a significant change in our routine for about a year while completing the schooling.  But the reward could be great.  So it’s in the works for now.

Well, I suppose I teased you all into reading some of my words in order to get a recipe.  So here goes.

Lemon-Kale Hummus Open-Faced Sandwich

4 slices of bread.  We chose sprouted and organic vegan bread.

1/2 lemon zested and squeezed into a bowl

2 lbs of baby kale or Power Greens, chopped into bit size bits.

Lots of hummus

green onion for garnish

1/2 bunch of cilantro for garnish

1 large tomato sliced thinnly

1/2 red pepper sliced or diced

1 avocado

Steam the kale for about 3 minutes or until very tender.  Once steamed add to bowl with lemon zest and add in red pepper.  toss well.

Toast bread till crispy.  Add hummus (lots of it) to each slice of toast and top with kale then all the rest of the garnishings.

Devour.

 S&J